Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction

108: In Session (Behind the Scenes): Repair Your Marriage With THIS Conversation

This is a very special episode I am super excited about! I'm working with a wonderful couple who allowed me to record our sessions together.

This episode is a snippet of our second session together and the growth they have experienced in just 1-2 session is unbelievable.

So instead of me telling you about how well they're doing, I wanted you to witness it and also see specifically what they did to achieve such growth.

Then you can implement the same tools to improve your relationship, and it all begins with a single conversation.

In this episode I share:

• The number one reason why most couples get stuck
• How you can exit cycles of rehashing the past and misunderstanding each other
• The most important parts of a healing conversation (and how you can have one today)
• How to instantly experience hope in your relationship (even if you're on the brink of divorcing, like this couple was)

So if your relationship isn't a tough spot, check this episode out to learn how you can get out of the pain that you're in by using the same approach that they did.

For therapy with Sam:

Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

107: Reprocessing Triggers & New Habits: The Key to Avoiding Relapse

In order to sustain progress and avoid relapse in the future, it's so important to not only develop new habits but actually reprocess your triggers.

Most men get triggered by being home alone, stress, loneliness, and other situations like that.

The problem is that life is difficult and we will experience those things countless times so if those triggers are connected to pornography use, you'll struggle with temptations and urges each time you're in that situation.

The key is to reprocess those triggers away from pornography, so you can be bored, home alone, and have a new internal reaction.

In this episode, share with you exactly how to reprocess triggers and create new habits so you can sustain growth and become the person you were meant to be.

For therapy with Sam:

Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

106: How to Guard Against Temptation and How She Can Help

The nagging feeling of an urge or temptation can become so powerful it's hard to resist.

In this episode I share with you specific approaches and tools you can implement to conquer any urges without needing to rely on Willpower or discipline.

Tune in to learn:

• The key to not feel bad about sexual desire

   

• The difference between and urge to watch pornography and normal sexual energy (and how to navigate it without a slip up)?

   

• How can you utilize triggers to help you make progress instead of avoiding them?

   

• The #1 conversation to avoid with your spouse so you don't cause frustration or a fight.

   

• How you can come together effectively to work through any urge or temptation but be on the same team.

 

For therapy with Sam:

Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

 

105: How to Know If You’re Ready For Sexual Intimacy Again in Your Marriage?

Navigating sexual intimacy after the impact of pornography can be so difficult!

In this episode we do a deep dive to help you know how to integrate sexual intimacy back into your relationship in a way that feels comfortable and safe.

Many couples have lots of questions and reservations, tune in to learn:

• How do we know if we are ready for sex again?

   

• Will being sexual trigger him to watch pornography?

   

• Should we wait 90 days to allow his brain to reset?

   

• How can we create a foundation of safety and trust for intimacy?

   

• What if she gets triggered by sex and compares herself, feels inadequate or insecure or worries about what he's thinking of?

 

Here is the link to the Dr. Andrew Huberman interview that I referenced in the episode:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GbCnr4gBjE

 

For therapy with Sam:

Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

 

104: 3 Ways to Have Hard Conversations More Productively So You Can Find Closure

Having hard conversations in your marriage after pornography addiction is one of the most important skills you can learn.

However, there are many things that can get in the way of having productive conversations together.

Tune in to learn:

• The top reasons why conversations go south (and what you can do about it)
• How to productively have conversations without rehashing the past over and over
• Ways to work as a team to create closure surrounding painful events
• The #1 reason why husbands sometimes avoid painful conversations (and how to resolve it)
• 3 strategies you can implement today to start to heal and feel more connection in your relationship

For therapy with Sam:

Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

 

103: Slip vs Relapse and Should He Tell His Wife?

Is there a difference between a slip and a relapse, and at what point should he tell his wife?

In this episode I detail not only the differences between a slip and a relapse but exactly how you can find Freedom from both by resolving the trigger itself.

The traditional way of overcoming pornography is based in helping men prepare for battle.

However, much like Pavlov's dog, our brains create powerful links between triggers and reactions. It's like a reflex we can't control, leading us down the path we wish to avoid.

The other method that I've seen be significantly more effective empowers you to break the association between triggers and the internal reactions they cause, freeing you from the grip of addiction.

As I work with me, when a trigger arises, I guide them through a process that helps you separate the trigger from the response. So, when that trigger appears, it no longer compels you to act out.

For therapy with Sam:

Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

102. How to Achieve Forgiveness Without Pressure and Forcing It

Forgiveness is such an important element in the healing process, yet most people go about it in a way that causes resistance, pressure and frustration.

Trying to forgive too early in the process can bring up a lot of pain, so finding tools and a method to help you in this process can be so freeing.

In this episode I share the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, and the relationship between trust and forgiveness (it's not what you think), and why you might feel stuck on this step of the process.

I share practical steps you can take to find forgiveness without any pressure and in a way that feels comfortable for you.

For therapy with Sam:

Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

 

101. How to Eliminate Scorekeeping and Resentment From Your Marriage

In your journey of overcoming pornography addiction and rebuilding trust in your relationship, it's so important to understand the root of the problem in a way that leads to lasting solutions.

In this episode, we'll explore five key points that will benefit any man seeking to overcome pornography addiction and a couple to repair their relationship.

1. Unraveling Resentment and Score-Keeping: Discover effective strategies to eliminate score-keeping and resentment that often plague relationships affected by pornography addiction. Unresolved issues can resurface and hinder growth, but we'll provide practical ways to break free from this cycle.

2. Shifting Perspectives: Breaking Free from the "Addict" Label: Let go of the limitations that come with labeling yourself or your partner as an addict. We'll explore a more empowering perspective that focuses on growth and acknowledges progress. Discover how this shift can pave the way for positive change.

3. Unveiling Unmet Needs: Explore the connection between unaddressed emotional needs and unresolved hurt within your relationship. By understanding and addressing these underlying issues, you can foster a deeper connection with your partner and prevent recurring problems.

4. Rebuilding Trust and Healing Resentment: Learn from inspiring real-life stories of couples who successfully rebuilt trust and overcame resentment. Discover actionable steps to nurture open communication, vulnerability, and understanding within your relationship. Witness the transformation from hurt to healing.

5. Empowering Change: Tools for Effective Communication: Uncover practical techniques that can transform anger and frustration into open and effective communication. Explore how this key skill can nurture your relationship, creating a foundation of trust and intimacy.

For therapy with Sam:

Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

 

100. Instantly Reduce Relapses With This Simple Tweak

In the process of overcoming pornography addiction, so many men focus on tracking sobriety. However, there is a big problem with using that as the measurement of success –

 

• Unintentionally it creates fear, concern and anxiety about when the next time I slip will occur.

• It amplifies discouragement and decreases motivation whenever there is a slip after a long streak occurs

• Focusing on avoiding slips doesn't actually mean you're making progress resolving the core issue

• It often can contribute to dishonesty because a husband doesn't want to disclose to his wife and start from zero

 

There is a better way to not only more effectively track progress, but do it in a way that increases confidence, contributes to more honesty and openness in the relationship, and creates and mental space of openness and relaxation which actually promotes more growth.

 

Tune into this episode to understand the small tweak you can Implement today that can have an instant result and how you feel and in your progress.

 

The previous episode I referenced in this show about how to properly disclose a slip is episode number 87.

 

For therapy with Sam:

Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction:

Follow me on Instagram

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

99. Get Unlimited Motivation to Overcome Pornography Addiction

When a man struggles with a pornography addiction, both he and his wife often feel concerned that he'll run out of motivation to stay consistent. 

And it's true, using methods that don't work can leave him feeling discouraged, frustrated and exhausted. 

In this episode I share with you two specific strategies to give you unlimited motivation to stay consistent, focused and steady when it comes to putting in the effort necessary to become the person you were meant to be. 

Hearing these strategies can also help a wife feel reassured as he's taking a new approach so that she doesn't feel fear of the other shoe dropping.

If you want to go deeper into learning how to stop negative communication cycles in your relationship that I mentioned in this episode, check out episodes 96 and 97.

For therapy with Sam:
Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.