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The Couples Healing podcast is a resource to help husbands in their porn addiction recovery and to help couples restore the trust and connection again in their marriage. The effects of pornography addiction or sex addiction can be devastating individually and in the relationship, but with the right approach, men can learn how to stop watching porn, heal the pain it causes his wife, and rebuild trust again in the marriage. Each episode is designed to give you new insights, tools, and strategies to help you at each stage of your journey, whether you‘re just now beginning to address the pornography use, or if you‘ve been struggling for many years and still feel stuck. In the podcast, I also share ways for women to feel empowered, safe, and worthy. I also share how the couple can navigate their relationship together after it’s been impacted by pornography and the trust has been broken. Join me, Sam Tielemans, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, as I share my expertise and knowledge to help you find freedom, peace, confidence, connection, and hope.
Episodes
Thursday Oct 12, 2023
Thursday Oct 12, 2023
It's easy for people to get stuck in a negative thought patterns that increase depression, hopelessness, and feeling paralyzed.
When's the last time you thought something like, "I'm a failure," "there's no way I can quit porn," "everything in our marriage has been a lie"?
In a couple of recent sessions I had with people, a common theme emerged that was keeping them stuck in how they assessed and thought about situations in their lives.
These disempowering thought pattern happens all the time to so many people.
In this episode, you'll learn what that thought pattern is (and you're probably doing without knowing) and how you can eliminate it and find the healing you need.
Thursday Oct 05, 2023
Thursday Oct 05, 2023
If you’ve ever felt depressed after another relapse and you’ve thought that quitting pornography isn’t possible, then this episode is for you.
I had a session with a client that was a keystone moment in his life and journey to quitting porn and I wanted to share with you what broke an old limiting belief he had that caused lots of setbacks.
In this episode I share how having subconscious beliefs will totally prevent you from finding freedom such as “I’ll never be able to quit” or “this is something I’ll have to deal with forever”
Learning how to identify and break these limiting beliefs is the pathway to leaving porn behind you without ever going back.
For therapy with Sam:
Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Friday Sep 29, 2023
Friday Sep 29, 2023
Our emotional state determines the quality of our life. Yet, most people allow the external world to determine their emotional responses.
One of the most valuable skills that people can learn is how to work through negative emotions, quickly, maintain a feeling of calm, control, and inner peace.
In this episode, I share with you a new approach that can help you work through uncomfortable or difficult events without letting your emotions spiral.
For therapy with Sam:
Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Thursday Sep 21, 2023
Thursday Sep 21, 2023
Finding success in overcoming pornography, you can be so difficult for many people because they don't know the best way to approach it.
It can feel so discouraging and isolating going through this journey, which is why, I wanted to share a success story to help not only give you hope, but for you to also hear the specific things that have been working for men to find freedom.
In this episode, I interview Kevin who went through my program a few months ago and he wanted to come back and share with him some of his biggest takeaways in hopes that you can apply the same tools in your life and see progress.
In this episode, we talk about the things that he tried in the past that never worked for him, and what he started to do instead, which is where he had a breakthrough.
He shared his most effective strategy to deal with triggers, so they don't linger. And as a side benefit, it strengthened his relationship at the same time.
He also had a big success in working through his negative beliefs about himself, and he shares with you a couple of the ways that he did that.
Tune in to hear all of this and more, and leave, feeling more hopeful about the possibility of you overcoming this as well.
For therapy with Sam:
Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Thursday Sep 14, 2023
Thursday Sep 14, 2023
When a man struggles with pornography, identifying the root cause and the source of the urges and triggers is critical.
Without knowing what's driving, the urges and the behavior, most solutions will fail.
Unless you correctly diagnose the issue, you're flying blind when it comes to addressing it.
In this episode, I share with you the two specific categories, from which urges and triggers stem.
Tune in as I share:
🚀 Identify the Hidden Sources of Your Struggles: Discover the root causes behind your urges and triggers. Uncover why you've been caught in this cycle, so you can finally break free.
🧠 The Power of Emotional Coping: Explore how emotional triggers play a significant role in your addiction. Learn how to address these emotions effectively to reduce the pull of temptation.
💡 Effective Solutions, Not Quick Fixes: Say goodbye to rubber bands, cold showers, or distractions that only scratch the surface. Find out how to apply real, lasting solutions to your unique challenges.
🤝 The Value of Connection: Understand why reaching out and sharing your feelings with someone you trust is a game-changer. Discover the power of genuine human connection in your healing journey.
🔄 Breaking the Habit Loop: Learn how to tackle the habitual aspects of addiction, especially during specific times of the day or situations. Understand the brain's associations and how to rewire them for success.
For therapy with Sam:
Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Thursday Sep 07, 2023
Thursday Sep 07, 2023
Many couples feel overwhelmed by feeling stuck despite trying to take positive steps forward. A woman can often feel afraid to bring her wall down, or she might feel so hurt that she can't really give a whole lot to the relationship.
This situation can be difficult for both people, and a husband can feel discouraged when he's doing well but his efforts might not be bringing down the wall as he would have hoped.
Tune in to learn how to address the common concerns and fears that couples have:
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If I don’t move forward quickly, will he spiral back into the pornography?
- What if I do show love and then he thinks I’m just over it and past it now - will he stop trying? Go back to how things were?
- Fear that if she brings the wall down and then just get hurt again.
- He feels discouraged that he’s doing well, but in his mind she’s holding on to the past, won’t forgive, and their relationship will never get better.
In this episode I offer tools and insights to help you navigate these difficult places.
For therapy with Sam:
Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Friday Sep 01, 2023
Friday Sep 01, 2023
This is a very special episode I am super excited about! I'm working with a wonderful couple who allowed me to record our sessions together.
This episode is a snippet of our second session together and the growth they have experienced in just 1-2 session is unbelievable.
So instead of me telling you about how well they're doing, I wanted you to witness it and also see specifically what they did to achieve such growth.
Then you can implement the same tools to improve your relationship, and it all begins with a single conversation.
In this episode I share:
- The number one reason why most couples get stuck
- How you can exit cycles of rehashing the past and misunderstanding each other
- The most important parts of a healing conversation (and how you can have one today)
- How to instantly experience hope in your relationship (even if you're on the brink of divorcing, like this couple was)
So if your relationship isn't a tough spot, check this episode out to learn how you can get out of the pain that you're in by using the same approach that they did.
For therapy with Sam:
Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Friday Aug 25, 2023
Friday Aug 25, 2023
In order to sustain progress and avoid relapse in the future, it's so important to not only develop new habits but actually reprocess your triggers.
Most men get triggered by being home alone, stress, loneliness, and other situations like that.
The problem is that life is difficult and we will experience those things countless times so if those triggers are connected to pornography use, you'll struggle with temptations and urges each time you're in that situation.
The key is to reprocess those triggers away from pornography, so you can be bored, home alone, and have a new internal reaction.
In this episode, share with you exactly how to reprocess triggers and create new habits so you can sustain growth and become the person you were meant to be.
For therapy with Sam:
Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Thursday Aug 17, 2023
Thursday Aug 17, 2023
The nagging feeling of an urge or temptation can become so powerful it's hard to resist.
In this episode I share with you specific approaches and tools you can implement to conquer any urges without needing to rely on Willpower or discipline.
Tune in to learn:
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The key to not feel bad about sexual desire
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The difference between and urge to watch pornography and normal sexual energy (and how to navigate it without a slip up)?
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How can you utilize triggers to help you make progress instead of avoiding them?
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The #1 conversation to avoid with your spouse so you don't cause frustration or a fight.
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How you can come together effectively to work through any urge or temptation but be on the same team.
For therapy with Sam:
Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
Thursday Aug 10, 2023
Thursday Aug 10, 2023
Navigating sexual intimacy after the impact of pornography can be so difficult!
In this episode we do a deep dive to help you know how to integrate sexual intimacy back into your relationship in a way that feels comfortable and safe.
Many couples have lots of questions and reservations, tune in to learn:
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How do we know if we are ready for sex again?
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Will being sexual trigger him to watch pornography?
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Should we wait 90 days to allow his brain to reset?
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How can we create a foundation of safety and trust for intimacy?
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What if she gets triggered by sex and compares herself, feels inadequate or insecure or worries about what he's thinking of?
Here is the link to the Dr. Andrew Huberman interview that I referenced in the episode:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GbCnr4gBjE
For therapy with Sam:
Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org
Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction
Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit
Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.