Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction

124: When Seeking Validation Leads to Pornography and/or Physical Infidelity

What do you do when you struggle with feelings of needing validation from a source outside of yourself?

Whether it’s sexual attention from a woman, making a lot of money, doing and accomplishing things, or looking a certain way, it’s a trap that leads to more heartache.

In this episode, I share how both a husband and wife can work through these underlying issues that lead to validation seeking and coping in destructive ways.

The more you can recognize and resolve the root cause, the more peace, fulfillment, and worth you can feel in a healthy, sustainable way.

For therapy with Sam:

Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

123: Harvard Professor Shares a Critical Factor in Successfully Quitting Pornography

Have you ever wanted to know exactly what it’s going to take to eliminate pornography and have a connected relationship with your spouse?

As I have initial calls with men, I often hear them say they are willing to do whatever it takes, they just don't know exactly what to do.

In this episode, I share with you, one of the most important elements that helps engage and sustain men in the process of quitting pornography. I also share the very best strategy that you can implement in order to make success possible for you in this journey.

 

For therapy with Sam:

Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

122: This Conversation Can Unintentionally Harm Your Ability to Directly Address and Resolve Pornography Use

When struggling to overcome pornography addiction or a habit, have you ever had the conversation that goes something like this:

If there's another relapse again, our marriage is over.

If I catch you watching something again, I'm leaving.

And if you have had that conversation in your relationship, how did it feel?

What effect did it end up having?

So many couples I work with have high standards for their relationship - no pornography.. but what happens when that standard is broken?

Is it possible to have high standards while maintaining room for growth and development? 

This episode, I share with you exactly how you can have this conversation together without feeling stuck and minimize the hiding and lying that occur due to the fears of failure.

For therapy with Sam:

Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

 

121: Can Having Sex Make it Harder For Him to Overcome Pornography?

Can having sex make it hard for him to quit watching pornography? 

 

Is a pornography addiction or habit fueled by sex with a spouse?

 

The men and women I work with want to have a fulfilling relationship, which includes sexual intimacy.

 

In this episode, I share with you, the most important considerations when it comes to making sure sex doesn’t cause a breakdown in the marriage or fuel the patterns he’s wanting to get away from.

  

For therapy with Sam:

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

120: The 3 Best Ways to Help Her Pain Go Away

When a man struggles with a pornography addiction or habit, it shatters trust and security in his relationship.

Most men desperately seek to repair and restore the relationship, but sadly find themselves struggling to help her feel better despite making positive changes individually.

 

This episode of share with you, three specific ways, couples can approach the healing process together to help her pain heal and ultimately find closure.

 

After 15,000 hours of doing therapy with clients, these are the top tools that I've had the most difference in the lives of my clients.

  

For therapy with Sam:

Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

119: Success Story with Kenna and Dave – From Near Divorce to Connection and Safety

Have you ever contemplated ending your relationship because of the hurt and pain you’re feeling? 

Or because of broken communication that leads to fights or distance and you're not sure how to repair your marriage, despite everything that you've tried?

You’re not alone.

So many couples get stuck in negative cycles that break down their love and relationship, leading to resentment and distance.

I had the awesome opportunity to work with a couple who reached out right on the brink of divorce after having done multiple programs, therapy, and no matter what they did, it just wasn’t working.

So I knew we had to take a totally different approach, and if you listen back on episode 108 - I actually took you behind the scenes and recorded a session that this couple and I had together so you could get a sense of how these tools apply to a difficult, real life situation.

So in less than 3 months, this couple went from almost getting divorced to feeling so excited and connected in their relationship.

And this episode today is a conversation I had with them where they share how they got there, what were the most helpful things they did on the journey, how he created safety in their marriage, and the totally different way they learned to process the triggers that used to cause arguments in the past.

For therapy with Sam:

Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

 

 

118: When She Says, “If You Loved Me, You Never Would Have Watched Pornography”

When a man struggles with pornography, addiction or habit, it’s devastating to his wife.

 

She will express her hurt and pain to him hoping that the behavior will stop, but when it continues to happen, it creates hopelessness and despair.

 

In those moments, it's easy for her to interpret the situation as ‘he doesn’t love me or care about me, what’s why he keeps doing it.’

 

When that is how she interprets his behavior, that creates even more pain in her heart.

 

But what if there was a different way to understand this situation and why he’s doing this?

 

In this episode, I share one of the best ways I’ve seen couples navigate this issue, develop a stronger bond between each other, and create closure from the past.

 

For therapy with Sam:

Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

117: How to Eliminate the Desire for Pornography So You Can Feel ”Normal”

Imagine what life would feel like if you didn’t have any desire to look at pornography.

You just simply had no interest in it anymore?

What if you just felt “normal” and could just go about your day without worrying about temptations and urges?

Well, it’s possible. And it’s one of the best feelings in the world.

In this episode I want to share with you exactly how you can achieve that and leverage that heart change to create safety and trust in your marriage

How can you achieve this?

The desire for porn will go away when your inner void is filled with something that actually meets your needs.

So many men use porn as a method of filling their internal void, but it just doesn’t work.

In this episode, I share with you three specific examples of clients who had different voids and how they resolved them in a healthy way.

For therapy with Sam:

Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

116: If a Wife Has Unmet Expectations and a Husband Feels Like His Efforts Aren’t Enough

When working to overcome pornography addiction or habit, it’s easy for expectations to not be met..

 

This work is difficult, and if a wife has expectations of him sharing, growing, and improving, but his capacity is limited, there can be a breakdown in the marriage.

She might feel like he’s not really trying and that he doesn’t care about her.

 

He can feel like no matter what he does, it’ll never be good enough.

 

And when couples get caught in this type of spiral, it actually de-motivates and discourages action and progress.

 

In this episode, I share with you a new way of looking at this so that both a husband and wife can feel progress at every phase of the journey, regardless of whether the expectations are met or not.

 

For therapy with Sam:

Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

115: When Saying How You Feel Leads to a Fight

When couples are working through the impact of pornography addiction, communication is so important to resolve painful and sensitive issues.

But what, if sharing how you feel ends up in a fight?

This is exactly what we were talking about in today's episode, and I'll share with your tools and strategies to approach these conversations differently.

This can help you find closure and repair the damage that is causing a wall between you and your spouse.

For therapy with Sam:

Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.