Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction

134: He Thinks He's Making Progress Helping Her Feel Safe, She Doesn't

March 18th: Join the free 5 Day 'Overcome Your Urges' Challenge  to get tools to resolve the root cause of your urges so you can eliminate them instead of resisting them.

It can be very discouraging when there is a mismatch between husband and wife, and how they view their progress.

If hey husband thinks he's making strides towards creating safety and rebuilding trust, but the wife doesn't agree, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and lose hope.

This episode, I share three specific things you can do to get on the same page together with your partner and create safety.

There are some activities that move the needle more than others. So in this episode I talk about the ones that matter most so you can focus your efforts on those.

 

For therapy with Sam:

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

133: Narcissism and Pornography Use: Why They've Had It Wrong The Whole Time

The idea of being in a relationship with a narcissist can feel overwhelming.

After all, a “personality disorder” is a serious thing…

But what if people slinging this diagnosis have been wrong the whole time?

What if there was different a way to understand why someone engages in destructive behaviors?

In this episode, I do a deep dive in unpacking narcissism and why this label usually makes it hard for both people to make progress and change.

I share what really drives negative behaviors in a relationship and how you can actually change without needing medication or some other intervention to control symptoms.

For therapy with Sam:

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

132: When the Tools Don’t Help You Feel Better or Make Progress

Safety is necessary in order for relationships to be repaired after pornography use.

Many women default to using an emotional wall to keep themselves safe after they discover their husband's pornography use.

You've all heard about and have tried the tools – journaling, meditation, prayer, reading, etc.

But what if you try those things and you don't actually feel any better? What if you're not making progress, despite using all of the tools that you've learned about.

In this episode, I share with you exactly how to find closure and resolution as you're working on yourself and your marriage.

Most people leave out one key step that actually helps them to feel better.

So in this episode, I go deep into sharing what you can do to make the tools work for you. 

For therapy with Sam:

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

131: Emotional Safety in Marriage is Key: Here Are 3 Ways to Create It

Safety is necessary in order for relationships to be repaired after pornography use.

Many women default to using an emotional wall to keep themselves safe after they discover their husband's pornography use.

As time goes on and he develops the skills and make the changes necessary, HE can become the source of safety for her and the relationship.

And when he is the source of safety, she can let the wall down and feel more connected and close with him.

In this episode, I share with you three different ways that you can free safety in your relationship.

For therapy with Sam:

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

130: The Solution to Avoid Trading One Bad Coping Mechanism for Another

It's very easy for men to switch one bad coping mechanism (pornography) for another (food, video games, social media, TV, etc.).

Some people might see those things as far less harmful, so they allow themselves to do it.

However, swapping different coping mechanisms is actually really bad because the root of the issue remains unresolved, which sets you up to continue to spiral.

Why does this happen and how can we avoid it?

Check out the today's episode and get solutions to resolve this problem. 

For therapy with Sam:

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

129: How to Help Her Feel Secure Again in the Relationship After Pornography Use

In a relationship, having a strong feeling of security is so important.

When pornography addiction or habit is discovered, it completely undermines the security that she feels.

This causes lots of issues for both people and the relationship itself – a wall goes up, there's distrust, fear, inadequacy, and emptiness often felt by both people.

In today's episode, I'm sharing with you a specific tool you can implement right away so you can build security back into your marriage.

For therapy with Sam:

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

 

128: How to Overcome Feelings of Unworthiness and a Lack of Self Love

Lots of people struggle with feelings of low self worth, unworthiness, inadequacy and a lack of self love.

Affirmations and being positive doesn’t seem to stick because we don’t actually believe the good things we are saying.

It can be hard to love ourselves if we mostly see all of our inadequacies and weaknesses. Especially if our shortcomings impact those who we love.

In this episode, I share with you, one of the most powerful tools to overcome feelings of inadequacy and low self worth, and instead feel self love and confidence.

I’ve been there and know how painful it is to feel unworthy and bad, but I’ve found a way to change how I see myself and I want to share it with you too. 

 

For therapy with Sam:

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Go to www.coupleshealing.org for free access now.

In the course you'll learn some of my top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

127: The Key to Addressing Her Sadness If It Feels Like You’re Not Making Progress

Have you ever had a good day with your spouse, then out of nowhere, you get hit with a wave of deep sadness.

Then you share the sadness and the conversation spirals and he doesn’t say much in response.

If you’re a husband, have you ever been faced with that situation and wanted to help her but had no idea how?

Did you feel discouraged because you thought you were in a better spot and had made progress, only to feel like you were back to square one?

This is a very common scenario for couples, and it's so easy to get stuck here.

However, this is an absolutely crucial moment to have these conversations go well so you can actually move forward and create closure instead of feeling derailed by the sadness or the impact of the past.

In this episode, I share with you the specific ways that you and your spouse can handle these conversations and feelings when they come up without them causing a spiral or a fight.

 

For therapy with Sam:

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

 

 

126: The Damage of Pornography Use and Deception Can Be Healed – Here’s How

When a pornography addiction or habit is discovered in a relationship, it causes significant damage.

Trust is broken, there's a lack of emotional safety, and it often causes a woman to redefine the entire relationship and question the past.

Despite the significant damage, couples who get the right tools can fully heal the pain of the past, eliminate pornography use, and move forward with closure and connection.

In this episode I share with you exactly how to move forward through the damage and how husband can be an influence for healing and stability in his. 

 

For therapy with Sam:

I'll help you quit porn within the next 90 days (or I'll work with you for free until you do) – visit stopporn.info to get more information.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

125: He Wants to Move Forward, But She’s Still Hurting and Her Wall is Up

Most people don’t want to stay in pain any longer than they already have. They want the process to speed up, to find closure and peace sooner, and move forward with a feeling of resolution…

But what if she’s not ready to just leave it all behind?

So many men want to leave the past behind as quickly as possible, because they recognize the impact of their actions has had a tremendous effect on their wife.

He doesn't want her to suffer anymore than she already has, so in his desires to move forward, unintentionally, she feels left behind and her pain gets ignored.

This produces a cycle of her bringing up the past so she can find healing, but the husband sees it as a lack of progress, feels discouraged, and then tries to rush the process along even more.

If you've ever been caught in this pattern, in this episode I share with you one of the most important ways to navigate to move forward quickly while still making sure that the pain she feels is getting the attention and care it deserves.

 

For therapy with Sam:

I'll help you quit porn within the next 90 days (or I'll work with you for free until you do) – visit stopporn.info to get more information.

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.