Couples Healing From Pornography Addiction

139: When a Wife Brings Up Her Husband's Lack of Follow Through

Have you ever gotten into an argument with your spouse where you're talking about specific actions that he's committed to do but then doesn't follow through?

For a wife, it can feel really frustrating if there’s a lack of follow through because she often receives that as him not being committed or caring enough.

For a husband, it can be frustrating because if he’s working on things but then feels picked apart and like his efforts aren’t enough This leads to shutting down and distance.

So in today’s episode I want to share with you how are you can both navigate this together in a way that doesn't divide you but can help you find closer and confidence that you’re healing together.

 

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with me directly.

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

138: The Top 3 Ways to Kill Your Chances of Having a Strong Marriage

"We've been spinning our wheels for 9 months... I'm in a worst place now than the day I discovered everything."

A couple reached out to me a few hours before recording this episode. They were both discouraged and frustrated add the slow pace of the process of healing.

No matter what they did, she just felt stuck and like she couldn't move forward because some key things in their approach were missing.

In this episode I share with you the top 3 things that can cause significant damage in a relationship and prevent it from healing.

I want to share these things with you and exactly how you can reverse them so you can make progress and move forward with closure.

 

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with me directly.

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

 

137: How Long Does It Take to Repair A Marriage After Pornography Use?

 

 

This road to healing your marriage can be agonizing. So many people wonder how long will this take? They feel like they might not be able to hold on much longer.

 

The good news is that it’s actually not based on a specific timeline or a number of years. Rather it’s based on how quickly you can learn the skills that you need to have new experiences together.

 

Some couples can feel like they are in a completely different place in just a matter of weeks because they focus on learning the skills necessary to get them there.

 

What skills do you need to learn? This is what I discuss in today’s episode.

 

For therapy with Sam:

I will work with you for 12 weeks to help you eliminate pornography use and the root cause that started it.

If after the 12 weeks you haven’t fully been able to quit, I’ll work with you 1-1 for free until you do.

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with me directly.

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

 

136: How Long Do We Need To Keep Talking About It?

After the discovery of pornography use, it shatters the foundation of the entire relationship. Naturally, it becomes the center of most conversations as you try to resolve the issues and pain it causes.

Then after you start making some progress, many couples wonder how long they need to keep talking about things? They often tend to have the same conversations over and over again, so they wonder what the next steps are and when they can move forward without always talking about it.

In this episode, I share with you, the key indicators that you're ready to move forward and how you can find closure and resolution if you're not quite there yet.

For therapy with Sam:

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

 

135: She Found Out He Was Hiding A Slip… Now What?

Couples can very easily get stuck when a husband has a slip up, acts like things are normal, and then his wife finds out that he searched for something and didn’t tell her.

This can cause a wife to spiral into distrust, self protection, anger and fear all over again and it has such a big impact on the relationship and their sense of progress together.

Her wall goes up, she feels suspicious of anything he says, can’t believe anything he says.

Tune in to today's episode to get to specific things you can do to work through this situation together.

For therapy with Sam:

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

134: He Thinks He's Making Progress Helping Her Feel Safe, She Doesn't

March 18th: Join the free 5 Day 'Overcome Your Urges' Challenge  to get tools to resolve the root cause of your urges so you can eliminate them instead of resisting them.

It can be very discouraging when there is a mismatch between husband and wife, and how they view their progress.

If hey husband thinks he's making strides towards creating safety and rebuilding trust, but the wife doesn't agree, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and lose hope.

This episode, I share three specific things you can do to get on the same page together with your partner and create safety.

There are some activities that move the needle more than others. So in this episode I talk about the ones that matter most so you can focus your efforts on those.

 

For therapy with Sam:

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

133: Narcissism and Pornography Use: Why They've Had It Wrong The Whole Time

The idea of being in a relationship with a narcissist can feel overwhelming.

After all, a “personality disorder” is a serious thing…

But what if people slinging this diagnosis have been wrong the whole time?

What if there was different a way to understand why someone engages in destructive behaviors?

In this episode, I do a deep dive in unpacking narcissism and why this label usually makes it hard for both people to make progress and change.

I share what really drives negative behaviors in a relationship and how you can actually change without needing medication or some other intervention to control symptoms.

For therapy with Sam:

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

132: When the Tools Don’t Help You Feel Better or Make Progress

Safety is necessary in order for relationships to be repaired after pornography use.

Many women default to using an emotional wall to keep themselves safe after they discover their husband's pornography use.

You've all heard about and have tried the tools – journaling, meditation, prayer, reading, etc.

But what if you try those things and you don't actually feel any better? What if you're not making progress, despite using all of the tools that you've learned about.

In this episode, I share with you exactly how to find closure and resolution as you're working on yourself and your marriage.

Most people leave out one key step that actually helps them to feel better.

So in this episode, I go deep into sharing what you can do to make the tools work for you. 

For therapy with Sam:

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

131: Emotional Safety in Marriage is Key: Here Are 3 Ways to Create It

Safety is necessary in order for relationships to be repaired after pornography use.

Many women default to using an emotional wall to keep themselves safe after they discover their husband's pornography use.

As time goes on and he develops the skills and make the changes necessary, HE can become the source of safety for her and the relationship.

And when he is the source of safety, she can let the wall down and feel more connected and close with him.

In this episode, I share with you three different ways that you can free safety in your relationship.

For therapy with Sam:

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

130: The Solution to Avoid Trading One Bad Coping Mechanism for Another

It's very easy for men to switch one bad coping mechanism (pornography) for another (food, video games, social media, TV, etc.).

Some people might see those things as far less harmful, so they allow themselves to do it.

However, swapping different coping mechanisms is actually really bad because the root of the issue remains unresolved, which sets you up to continue to spiral.

Why does this happen and how can we avoid it?

Check out the today's episode and get solutions to resolve this problem. 

For therapy with Sam:

Go to stopporn.info for more information about working with Sam

 

Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction.

 

Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit

 

Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners?

Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.